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Pupil

Friday, October 14, 2005

Who is Mr. Arindham Chaudhari?

Ladies and Gentlemen,
I must know, who is Arindham Chaudhari? As has already been proved, curiosity did kill the cat [Vantage point]. That much I am aware. But I still want to know, can anyone reveal the mystery behind your dark personality? I stood by the bylines, until I happend to come across your personal website. There I discovered how big a fan you are of yourself and the extent of your deception. I could no longer be a passive onlooker.

You claim to be a 'noted economist & management guru'. But I am afraid to have to say, far from having managed the books of the MNC down the road, you don't appear to have even a balanced mind. I ask, how can someone who blows his own horn so loud, be sane? You claim on your resume to have won such inspiring awards as the "Management guru 2000". The reader is almost left wondering, "I would not have been surprised had he won again in '01, '02, '03, and '04 too". After all, it must be your modesty that prevents you from disclosing all your winning ways. Come to think of it, maybe you were just running out of scroll space. After all, where would you squeeze in "Personality of the decade"? In fact - I would bet my money that you won a place on Raymond's model-line up too.

Ahh, lets not forget that awards of dubious distinction and origin are every desi's pedigree. What about your degrees? Degrees can come from many places, are of varying shapes and sizes. The ones that are least respected, however, are the ones that you award yourself! Especially if your going to do so gratituously to bloat your resume, putting even Microsoft's bloatware to shame. There are smart con-men and dumb con-men, but even the dumb ones are aware that it's smarter to steal someone else's credentials, than to come up with an institute to distributes them. What will come of the day when you decide to enroll your own kids in your institute?

There isn't a breathing villianous character who is complete without cronies. Sauron had his Orcs, Mogambo had little desi's with machine guns, Hitler had his nazi party. So too do you have a loyal army. You threaten us with your hundred's of students armed with laptops and pony-tails, who adore you as their founding father. It's too bad that while making their case [absurdiav], they inadvertantly left their spell-checker off. They hide behind their anonymity so that the 'poor spelling' police can't catch them. Don't think we underestimate them though. In a pre-emptive move [Vantage point], they threatened to burn laptops on the streets in protest. What other evidence do we need of their strategic planning? Such a long way the youth of India have come, earlier they burned government buses to lodge protests. Now they earn MBA's and burn chinese made laptops instead. You state with disgust that 35% of Delhi defecates in the open and yet your students bull-shit openly on the Internet? Their punditry too deserves applaud and a look of awe, claiming that Indian women rely way too much on their boyfriends. Perhaps they are not too far from the truth, or maybe they don't look further than their own homes and friends. I am sure the free laptops you handed out to them have continued your deception nicely, just like the charlatan king of Kafiristan who doled out justice to naive tribals while pretending to be the son of Alexander. I hope that your deception too will be uncovered and that your subjects make you walk the plank.

Compare yourself to the tree that everyone threw stones at, till it bore fruit, the fruits of humor and absurdity of course. Who am I to flag your deception? I am just an individual blogger - my two cents (or 2/45 paise) is hardly something you should have to write home about. Don't you have awards to win, degrees to earn? Your well past that I guess, you award lawsuits now, in the form of emails. I might not have learnt all of the little truth that there is to you, but I can promise you this, we bloggers will put up a strong fight.

We shall not flag or fail [DesiPundit]. We shall go on to the end. We shall fight on the ground, we shall fight in the print and on the airwaves, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength over ether, we shall defend our freedom of speech, whatever the cost may be. We shall fight in our blogs, we shall fight in our newspapers, we shall fight over email (don't forget to notarize) and in the 9'o clock news, we shall fight in court; we shall never surrender (Inspired by Churchill).

Disclaimer:
The character(s) in this piece of fiction are entirely fictional and any resemblance to a real, actual person, living or dead is purely unintentional! And definitely no resemblance to Arindham Chaudhari of IIPM was ever intended. This blog does not reflect the views of my employer, and for that matter the people I know - but is definitely my own point of view and that makes me proud.

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